I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
