so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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