It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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