Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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