fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
