So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
