she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
