i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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