"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
