she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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