there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
