Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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