peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
