i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize