oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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