This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
