College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
The feeling are messing with the penis
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
