Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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