remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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