The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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