Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
