Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he was CRYING into my vagina
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
