Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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