If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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