I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
