I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
