Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My balls are so social today.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
