There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
