and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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