hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm always down for nudity.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
