If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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