I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
