he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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