i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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