he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
