if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i think im in europe. pls send help
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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