Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
