If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
