I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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