The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
