he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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