oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There r osticjed everywhere
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
