how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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