Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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