..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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