My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
