I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
