Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
