1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
