do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
