yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
