What a fucking waste of an outfit
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
