i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
