I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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