South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize