i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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