I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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