did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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