but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize