Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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