Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
