i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
