is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
