Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
