My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize