i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize