your thong is hanging out like whoa
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
