It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
