We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
