I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
