So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
